The Ten Commandments of Geology

PhD Comics: The Origin

Commandments 1-5: How to properly worship the only true Advisor

1. I am The Advisor your God, who brought you out of the land of bliss, out of the house of innocence. You shall have no other gods before Me.

2. You shall not make for yourself other commitments, or any likeness of anything that is time consuming, or that is in other professors’ interests, or that is assigned in your classes; you shall not bow down to them or serve them; for I The Advisor your God am a jealous professor, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who have had Me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who will not be advised by Me and keep My Commandments.

3. You shall not take The Name of The Advisor your God in vain; for The Advisor will not hold him guiltless who leaves His name from publications.

4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it occupied. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work; but the seventh day is a Sabbath to The Advisor your God; in it you shall work even more so, you, or your son, or your daughter, your manservant, or your maidservant, or your cattle, or the sojourner who is within your gates; for in six days The Advisor wrote theses and dissertations, assembled PowerPoint presentations, and all that is in them, and also worked the seventh day; therefore The Advisor cursed the Sabbath day and so shall you.

5. Honor your Advisor and committee members, that your days may be paid with the stipend which The Advisor your God gives you.

Commandments 6-10: How to live in misery during academia

6. You shall not have fun.

7. You shall not commit to activities not assigned to you.

8. You shall not sleep.

9. You shall not bear false citations within your thesis.

10. You shall not covet your officemate’s thesis, you shall not covet your officemate’s field area, or his funding, or his stipend, or his poster, or his van, or anything that is your officemate’s.


~ by Jefferson C. Chang on 16 April 2010.

One Response to “The Ten Commandments of Geology”

  1. very nice site, keep up the good work.

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